glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize
