Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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