so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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