it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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