I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
