She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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