"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
