She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
