FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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