she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
