Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
