You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
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