two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
