she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
