Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I need moral support for this bender
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
