I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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