return my video game
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
