i jhust puked up my retainher.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
