Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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