she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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