My room smells like vodka and shame
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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