Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
