Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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