she woke up with a sticky ear
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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