if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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