She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
