Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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