pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
