whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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