She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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