508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
