Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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