Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
