The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
