Dude my mom stole all your condoms
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You were trust falling into bushes
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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