Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
