TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
