You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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