my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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