She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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