She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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