do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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