I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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