Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
