Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
