Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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