my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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