"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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