I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
im holly from the hills drunk
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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