tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
