quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
