If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
