The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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